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Horror! Comics! Anger!

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      When it came to selecting which Christmas themed horror movies I was going to review, Santa’s Slay wasn’t even close to being a contender. It looked dumb, didn’t have [...]

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      Do I call it Christmas Evil or do I call it You Better Watch Out or do I call it Terror in Toyland? Stupid fucking Troma movies and their [...]

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      Even though I only just saw Silent Night, Deadly Night a few weeks ago, I was pretty excited to see that Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 had a [...]

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      It’s a zombie movie, but it’s a comedy! Some might say that A Little Bit Zombie is a zomb-edy! Guys, do you get it? They took a classic horror [...]

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      Have any of you guys ever played with a Ouija board? Has anything evil ever happened to any of you? Exactly, I didn’t think so. I feel like everyone [...]

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  • 01/28/13--11:45: Splice (2009) [REVIEW]
  •   SCIENCE! Name one good thing that science has done for you lately. I dare you. No, I’m not talking about getting a text message or the invention of gravity [...]

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      Not including remakes or sequels, there are three big problems that cause horror movie fans to preemptively judge a film by. One of those things would be horror movies [...]

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  • 02/08/13--11:45: Bait (2012) [REVIEW]
  •   The people who made The Grey can fuck right off. Well, maybe that’s a little harsh. I had seen trailers for The Grey and wasn’t all that happy with [...]

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  • 03/01/13--13:00: Lifeforce (1985) [REVIEW]
  •   Earlier this week, I was faced with a tough decision. I had to decide between staying home to talk shit about the Oscars on the internet or going to [...]

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      Sorry guys, but horror movies involving creepy little kids don’t really do it for me. I guess that out of all the horror movies I’ve seen involving kids, I [...]

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  • 04/15/13--07:52: House (1986) [REVIEW]
  •   What an inventive name for a horror film! House! I wonder where it takes place! Maybe a house? Maybe a location that’s not a house? Who knows, bro. This [...]

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  • 04/30/13--21:45: The Haunting (1999) [REVIEW]
  •   Sometimes you need to revisit things that you might have enjoyed when you were 14 years younger. Sometimes you need to watch PG-13 horror to guarantee that you won’t [...]

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      Ya know what’s pretty awkward? Watching The Devil’s Advocate with your mom. I mean, not the mom of whoever is reading this, because odds are I haven’t watched ANY […]

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  • 06/02/13--13:08: Aftershock (2012) [REVIEW]
  •   “The only thing more terrifying than mother nature is human nature.” Hahahaha who fucking wrote that?! That’s so dumb. I mean, I get it, I guess, because I think […]

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  • 06/07/13--07:00: The Purge (2013) [REVIEW]
  •   Humans are pretty big pieces of shit, aren’t they? Just in general, we walk around like a bunch of sophisticated beings, but we’re just a bunch of animals that […]

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  • 06/24/13--21:10: Dark Skies (2013) [REVIEW]
  •   FUCKING ALIENS, AM I RIGHT GUYS?! If you’ve read my recent reviews of Signs or V/H/S/2, you’ll be familiar with the fact that alien movies creep me out. Even […]

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      Does anyone remember anything about the first Silent Hill movie? Something about some guy with a pyramid on his head? Or something? Whatever. Even though I don’t remember much […]

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      Talk about the dog days of summer! It’s getting hot out there, guys! Better wear your sunblock and your floppy hats! I generally prefer to watch movies that reflect […]

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      I recently had to drive to a wedding that was out in West Virginia, and while driving there, I wondered what the fuck West Virginia was known for so […]

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  • 07/25/13--09:00: No One Lives (2012) [REVIEW]
  •   I wouldn’t necessarily say that WWE Studios have built themselves all that impressive of a reputation with the films they’ve produced, but I also can’t say that I’ve seen […]

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